


The Talk

by alia03



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 04:38:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12247158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alia03/pseuds/alia03
Summary: If there was one thing, Russia’s Living Legend, Viktor Nikiforov ever wondered about his fiancé, Japan’s Ace, Katsuki Yuuri, was who the hell gave his wonderful cinnamon roll, by day, and devilish Eros incarnate, by night, THE TALK?





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a true story. Let's just say, I wear glasses like Yuuri ;)

If there was one thing, Russia’s Living Legend, Viktor Nikiforov ever wondered about his fiancé, Japan’s Ace, Katsuki Yuuri…

 

His fiancé, who was happily sipping a mug of green tea, sitting right beside him on _their_ (no longer _his_ alone) couch in _their_ apartment. _Their_ dog, Makkachin, napping at their feet.

 

…was who the _hell_ gave his wonderful cinnamon roll, by day, and devilish Eros incarnate, by night, **THE TALK?**

You know _the birds and the bees?_ The _where did babies come from?_ The _when a man and a woman loves each other?_ The _when you kiss someone, you get pregnant?_

 

Yes, _that talk._

There were a great number of people to give that sort of talk to their kids. Parents, teachers, uncles, aunts, the list goes on.

 

But in _his_ Katsuki Yuuri’s life, who would?

 

 **Suspect A.** The parents? _Nah._

 

Can you imagine teen cinnamon roll Yuuri having the talk from his two equally cinnamon roll parents? Like Mama Hiroko and Papa Toshiya? Sure, they had two beautiful children, but really?

 

 **Suspect B.** The family aunt, Minako. _Maybe?_

 

Yuuri was taught how to dance by the woman. He learned how to present his feminine side for the Eros routine from her, right? But did that mean the Minako was capable of teaching Yuuri the adult world knowing that she was there since he was a cute innocent baby? Maybe.

 

 **Suspect C.** The older sister, Mari. _Er…_

 

Mari, the _My Own Pace_ older sister, will without a doubt support her baby brother. The person other than Phitchit ( _another suspect, despite being younger than Yuuri)_ would most likely throw a condom at his cinnamon roll’s face and be like, “Stay safe, Bro! Not like you need it,” knowing Yuuri was only ever in love with one person his whole life since childhood? Probably not.

 

 **Suspect D.** The walking sex, Christophe Giacometti. _Unlikely_

 

Yuuri would probably maybe have had the talk by then. But in the off chance that he didn’t already, Chris, without a doubt, would've gave more than just the talk.

 

 **Suspect E.** The ‘American’ Skating Team, composed of Phichit Chulanont and Celestino Cialdini. _The most likely suspects._

 

In a country so free, Yuuri would one way or another have a high chance of being offered sex. Phichit and Coach Celestino would give cinnamon roll, Yuuri the talk for his own safety and chastity. Hey, they can’t really leave the boy to fend for himself without certain knowledge from possible suitors.

 

Viktor is leaning on **Suspect E** as the main suspects. But then Yuuri is surprisingly unpredictable. E.g. The Banquet, the Eros routine, and just last night in bed.

 

That last bit being the reason for his current dilemma.

 

_Who would give Yuuri the Talk?_

As Katsuki Yuuri’s fiancé and soon-to-be trophy husband, it is his duty to know every aspect of Japan’s Ace!

He feels like he’s forgetting someone or some important people from his listed suspects.

 

Viktor frowns. He’s been staring at his beloved for the past few minutes, lost in wonder.

 

“Viktor?”

 

Viktor hears his fiancé murmur, brown eyes in question staring back at him. He must have been eyeing the other for quite a while.

 

Snapping out of his daydream, Viktor just blurts out, “When did you learned about sex, Yuuri?”

 

“What?” Yuuri straightens up, looking all confused at his fiancé. It was a good thing he wasn’t drinking his tea or he’d have spat it.

 

Already on track and having made up his mind, Viktor just continues.

 

“You know _the birds and the bees_ talk?”

 

“Uhh…” was Yuuri’s response.

 

Not to be deterred, Viktor presses on, “The _where did babies come from_ question?”

 

“Viktor…”

 

“The _when a man and a woman_ , or in our case _, man loves each other_?”

 

“Viktor, please…”

 

“The _if you kiss someone, they get pregnant_?”

 

“VIKTOR!”

 

Viktor stops and stares at a heavily blushing Yuuri. It was silent for a minute before Yuuri answers.

 

“I, uh, didn’t really get the talk.”

 

“Then, how did you know of it?” Viktor inquires quietly. Memories of their first time and of last night sprang from his mind.

 

“It was Nishigori and Yuuko, okay. And it wasn’t the Talk.”

 

Ah, the childhood friends. He knew he forgot some important people.

 

Yuuri seeing he already had Viktor’s questioning eyes, merely sighed and continues elaborating.

 

“It was really embarrassing. It went like this…”

* * *

 It was an afternoon of skating in the rink. The three childhood friends had called it a day and they were preparing to head to their homes.

 

Nishigori Takeshi took out his new phone in hand. Or the latest mobile phone of the time. You know those new models where you can now take pictures and videos. And send it to other mobile phones using infrared?

 

They were cool. And now, cellphones were no longer used for texting, calling and playing in a black and white (or yellow) screens.

 

It can act as a camera now!

 

Takeshi being the mischievous of the three and the manliest of the group, wanted to play joke on the other two.

 

“I have something to show you, guys!” He calls out, new cellphone in hand. It was just one of those things you show off to your friends.

 

The female of the group, Yuuko looks up from arranging her stuff, asked, “What is it?”

 

Twelve year old Yuuri blinks up at Takeshi, who will unknowingly corrupt our innocent baby, the cinnamon roll.

 

“Some video is going around in school and everyone with this phone,” Takeshi shows off his phone in his hand, “are sharing it.” _Never mind, that ‘everyone’ was ‘every male’._ The boy grins.

 

“Have you seen it?” Yuuko questions, a bit skeptical at seeing the boy’s grin.

 

“Of course!” Takeshi grins. He stares at Yuuko’s pretty eyes straight on.

 

Yuuri remained silent at the whole exchange, merely observing the two interact.

 

“Just watch it.” Takeshi looks for the video, plays it for them before handing it to Yuuri. Yuuko huddled close to Yuuri to see the video.

 

Takeshi notes the two for their reaction.

 

It wasn’t even two minutes of the video playing did Yuuko blush rather heavily. Seeing the girl’s reaction, Takeshi laughs catching Yuuko’s attention.

 

“Takeshi!!” Yuuko slaps the boy’s head.

 

“Itai!”

 

“What the hell are you showing us?!” The girl screams at him.

 

“It’s just a joke!” The boy explains, clutching at the spot that Yuuko hit. He was trying to pacify the girl to not get hit again.

 

“Porn is not a joke!”

 

It took a while but Yuuko and Takeshi realized that Yuuri was still watching the video. Looking closer, they could see that the boy was eyeing the phone rather intently.

 

“OHH MY GOSH, YUURI!” Yuuko exclaims catching the younger boy’s attention from the video.

 

“Didn’t think he’d watch it so intensely.” Takeshi mutters.

 

“Huh?” Yuuri blinks at them before frowning. He had squinted his eyes at the phone’s screen.

 

“Yuuri!” Yuuko yells at him, not expecting that innocent Yuuri enjoyed such a despicable video. “Stop watching that!”

 

“Eh? I don’t get it.” Yuuri answers, a bit frightened. Yuuko never got angry at him.

 

“It’s porn!” Yuuko shouts, as if that explains everything.

 

Poor Yuuri was confused. “A what?”

 

“Porn, as in sex.” Takeshi exclaims, he was now just as confused as Yuuri.

 

“But it’s all grainy and black.” Yuuri weakly responded, stopping both of his older friends’ confusion. His eyes were squinting at their bewildered eyes as realization dawned on them.

* * *

 “Needless to say, they explained it.” Yuuri exasperatedly says. He observed his fiancé who was trying hard to hold his laughter.

 

“And I got my parents to get me a pair of glasses.”

 

Viktor could no longer hold it in, he guffawed.

 

_Wait ‘til Yurio hears this!_


End file.
